Sideswipe: No way out

Spotted in Enfield, North Otago.

By Ana Samways

Farting facts

1) Men fart more than women.

2) The original meaning of the word fart is "send forth as wind from the anus". It was coined in 1632.

3) The average person farts about 14 times a day.

4) The air from those 14 farts is enough to fill up a balloon.

5) It's nothing to be ashamed of, because it just means that you're healthy. A healthy digestive tract produces farts, so if you aren't farting at all, maybe you should go to a doctor.

6) Farts are made of hydrogen sulphide, a gas that reduces mitochondrial damage. Smelling farts can be healthy, so next time it happens, take a deep breath.

7) Women's farts are stinkier, because women have a higher concentration of hydrogen sulphide. This also means that it's healthier to smell women's farts.

8) Farts can fly as fast as 3m/sec

9) If you have a very tight sphincter, your farts will be louder, since they have a tighter area to squeeze through.

10) Chewing gum and soda make you fart more.

11) We fart mostly while we sleep.

12) The animals that produce the most farts are termites. Camels, zebras, sheep, cows, elephants and dogs (especially Labradors and retrievers) follow close behind.

(Via Daily Occupation)

Continued below.

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Concorde commute

Sarah Dowling of Pt Chevalier writes: "Travelling home by bus in Auckland yesterday the story about the supersonic airliner Concorde appeared on the in-bus video. Apparently it could fly at 'more than twice the speed of light'. Wouldn't it be brilliant? No more commuting from the suburbs - global highway here we come!"

Britomart balloon ban logical

Raymond Gabriel explains why balloons are not permitted at Britomart. "Isis terrorists are known to carry balloons, one with hydrogen and one with oxygen. They take these on to trains and blow up the train. Also, less importantly, balloons can blow up into the high-voltage train lines."

Nick Canton of Hamilton has a similar explanation: "While on holiday in Germany we took a train into Frankfurt. When we wanted to return to our host we found the underground station was closed and surrounded by fire engines and police. It transpired that a child's aluminium foil balloon had floated down the train tunnel, short-circuited the overhead power lines and caused a fire. It would seem that Auckland Transport are aware of this risk and wish to avoid a similar incident."

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Dave Read

- Marlborough
10:02 am Monday 27 March 2017
Alternative Farting Facts:
1. Farting is often triggered for someone by pulling their finger
2. Listening to Fart jokes also reduces mitochondrial damage
3. In pre-Victorian times women loved their men to fart and would boast about their spouse's prowess
4. As much as your dog loves your farts, your cat loves them more
5. The idea that farts contribute to global warming is Fake News
6. In more genteel times, farting in an elevator was considered an act of kindness, as it distracted people from thinking about how unsafe elevators were back then.
7. During the seige of Leningrad in the second world war, Stalin ordered troops to collect their farts for them to be compressed into liquid form and used as fuel for flamethrowers
8. An early DC comics superhero reject was Gassy Boy, whose superpower was an endless supply of powerful and violent farts he could direct at his enemies

sit ubu sit

10:01 am Monday 27 March 2017
Sarah is right about there being no more commuting from the burbs if travelling at the speed of light. Over-simplistically the theory of relativity states that travelling at the speed of light means time stops, and matter shrinks to zero. So you'd never arrive.

I'd settle for travelling at the speed of sound, although I'm not sure the sonic boom would be appreciated much either...


- Australia
10:01 am Monday 27 March 2017
I assume Raymond Gabriel was joking about the balloons, but there was no 'lol' at the end of the sentence...? Although, you could make a bang loud enough to make someone look up from their iPhone I suppose. It would be better if the oxygen and hydrogen were in the same balloon though, then you'd make everyone jump!


10:01 am Monday 27 March 2017
It is probably the filling and cost of the 500 tubes that
makes up the $13,000.


10:01 am Monday 27 March 2017
"Isis terrorists are known to carry balloons, one with hydrogen and one with oxygen. They take these on to trains and blow up the train." - I'm calling this comment out as complete rubbish. We used to explode hydrogen and oxygen together at high school back in the day; whilst it makes a loud bang and would shatter the container, there isn't going to have enough energy to "blow up a train". Not unless they had a couple of train-carriage-sized balloons. Also, the gasses need to be mixed together first - highly unlikely that'd happen in a train as the hydrogen would immediately escape to the outside when the balloon was opened.

This smacks of fear-mongering at it's worst.

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